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Dear Santa, please bring us a gift that really sucks this Christmas
My wife wants a new vacuum for Christmas. Before anyone mounts their “this-is-the-21st-century.-How-could-you-think-of-giving-a-cleaning-appliance-to-your-wife-as-a-Chritmas-gift?” ponies and rides to...
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What’s in a Christmas stocking?
Christmas is almost upon us and I’m feeling good about it. I’ve got my checklist pretty well marked up: Reroute a couple of paychecks to Amazon.com to take care of the far-flung friends and relatives....
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Happy birthday, little Wahoo Wahoo
The baby is turning one. He’ll be a toddler soon. The other day, he stood up by himself for almost 10 seconds. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since this insane night: Dispatches from the...
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Easter enjoyed by all, despite egg infestation
Easter was never a big Holiday to me when I was growing up. I was at the tail end of a large brood of children, so by the time I came along, the festivities associated with eggs and baskets had pretty...
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Our Christmas with PEZidents Lincoln and Garfield
Regular readers of this blog may recall that our five-year-old holds a certain reverence for Abraham Lincoln. The boy was affected by our visit to Ford’s Theater and has since speculated upon the...
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2013: The year in reruns
You know those sitcom episodes where they don’t have any new shows ready but they need to air something, so they dig up old clips and the writers show up to bang out a few sentences of intro for each...
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Happy New Year! Now, here’s something you could work on
I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution. This year, I am going to break tradition and make some resolutions I think would make me a happier person. They may be difficult and take a lot of hard work to...
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Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a bear attack
Valentine’s Day isn’t my favorite holiday. It’s like a yearly final exam of love, and I never liked being tested. If you don’t have someone special in your life, you fail. And if you’re lucky enough to...
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Once there was a mother
We read a lot about strong women these days – usually some mover and shaker who challenged perceptions to become the CEO of a mega corporation. These modern power players get profiled, but strong...
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Beyond memories: a father’s legacy
One day last summer, I was driving home with my iPod plugged in when Bobby Goldsboro’s version of Watching Scotty Grow cued up. Watching Scotty Grow was the first record I ever owned, given to me by my...
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A father’s Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a day for Turkey and mashed potatoes, parades and football, family togetherness and the alcohol that an entire day confined with family requires. And if there’s any time left over from...
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They don’t make it easy on Santa
Our six-year-old had to be prodded into starting his Christmas list. Having to write down words and ideas is so far below the dignity of a First Grade scholar. It’s much easier to watch toy commercials...
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Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas Tree! We’ll try not to break you too much
Our six-year-old has been bugging us to put up the Christmas tree since Thanksgiving. There’s nothing wrong with this and I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a fact: he’s been bugging us about it....
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Christmas advice for boys
An open letter to the boys who inhabit my house as Christmas draws near. Christmas Day brings with it a lot of excitement. This excitement can make boys forget themselves and step outside of the bounds...
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What Mommy does
Big Man (formerly New Baby) – Age 1 Mommy feeds me and keeps me clean, but those aren’t the most important things she does. Hell, even Daddy can do that, although clean becomes a relative term when...
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I love you, Halloween, but this relationship is moving too quickly for me
We have a bowl in our pantry where we collect candy from special events to dole out periodically to the boys. Since it is pre-Halloween, there are slim pickings left in the bowl. The last time I let...
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Rain, rain, Trick-or-Treat, and rain
Last year we had light snow for Trick-or-Treating. This year, it rained, not so lightly. Less cold; more wet. But Halloween is not for the faint of heart, nor the dry of clothes, so we took it as it...
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We’re trying to respect your personal space, Santa
I wanted to take Buster to the Home Depot kids’ workshop, but he threw a wrench at our Saturday morning by refusing to potty. Despite both Mommy’s and Daddy’s coaxing, he was adamant; his...
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A Christmas Tree named Chaos
Some people enjoy decorating Christmas trees. I hit the peak fun of putting up the tree at about age 7. Then the ‘been there, done that’ vibe took over. I enjoy having a tree, but I’m not so keen on...
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All the daddies do it
It’s that time of year again. It’s the height of the season when parents use Santa Claus leverage to pry good behavior from their children. But I would never hijack a beloved icon to extort good...
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